Shame Stops Us from Being Honest with Our Spouse Be willing to accept grace so you can once again fully enjoy one another. Refusing to accept their love stifles your ability as a couple to move forward and heal from past hurts. Remember, your spouse wants for you both to be able to show each other reciprocal kindness and care. Resisting the love of our spouses continues the cycle of hurt in marriage. Shame is the lie that says to you’re not good enough to be loved, and it can take hold of your heart and mind. Your spouse reaches out to show you that they care but you just can’t accept the love they are trying to offer. Life goes back to normal, yet you continue to carry the heavy weight of unworthiness. Many of us work through an incident but fail to let ourselves “off the hook” for the wrong we’ve done to our spouse.
Shame Says You’re Not Worthy of Kindness from Your Spouse How can we spot the effects of shame and change the tide of our hearts to be able to truly accept the forgiveness we have access to? Here are some secret ways shame sneaks into our relationships and undermines our ability to truly move forward as a couple: 1. Many times, we are blind to the ways that we are stopping ourselves from finding true freedom in our marriage. Nonetheless, we can get stuck in a negative shame-driven cycle that stops true healing from happening in our relationship. To fail in our relationships is a part of what it is to be human.
The reality is that every one of us has messed up at some point or another. We can carry an unnecessary and damaging burden of shame over the things we’ve done that we now regret. When we are the ones that bring hurt into our marriages, it can be more difficult to forgive ourselves than for our spouses to forgive us.
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